Fuck appropriateness.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
