flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
