I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
