it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
