I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
