Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
