Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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