i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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