i permit you to call me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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