my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
