We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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