I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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