Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
MIDGETS
????
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
