so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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