I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize