Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
