there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
