this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dear god my vagina.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
