I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
