Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
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new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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