My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
