Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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