I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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