ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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