we have officially lost it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize