It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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