It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dick very happy bro
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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