dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
