He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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