Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
