in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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