So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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