all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize