why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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