would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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