Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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