i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
