Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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