Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
