i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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