dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
