Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize