You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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