I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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