whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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