last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
