almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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