JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
