ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
