You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
