4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
