Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
