I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
