omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
