she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
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I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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