girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
