In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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