So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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