when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
