right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
