I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently you make a good broom.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
